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Written by Luna and Bethel for Chris-Sligh.info
 Luna and Bethel - Reviewers
Luna and Bethel, the famous eBay Blogging Toy Fox Terriers, are proud to be back at the Official Chris Sligh Fansite to review…AMERICAN IDOL!
Luna and Bethel were excited to see American Idol this week because Luna and Bethel are big fans of Gwen Stefani and her..stomach. So Luna and Bethel were a little surprised to learn that this week’s American Idol theme was Songs That Have Been Performed At Some Point In The Universe That Gwen Stefani Sort Of Lives In. Luna and Bethel are still trying to comprehend this. Luna and Bethel are still trying to figure out the whole show, which is why Luna and Bethel may be reducing to talking about fashion sometimes in their review. Gwen Stefani told Luna and Bethel that singers don’t have to be good singers for Gwen Stefani to like them, and Luna and Bethel think that Gwen Stefani might have been in the right place for Gwen Stefani on American Idol this week! On with the show!
Lakisha sang for Luna and Bethel the song Last Dance. This song was eligible for singing this week because it was on the list under Songs That Have Nothing To Do With Gwen Stefani. Luna and Bethel liked Lakisha’s clothes.
Next was Chris Sligh! Chris Sligh first talked to Ryan Seacrest, and Chris Sligh answered a viewer question with very funny answers and Luna and Bethel laughed, yes they DID! Then Chris Sligh sang Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic. Luna and Bethel suppose that somebody in Gwen Stefani’s family once owned a Police album. Luna and Bethel were disappointed that the band was bad and didn’t keep up with Chris and his fine voice. You’d think a big show like American Idol could afford a faster band. Or a better sound engineer, since Luna and Bethel are, even as they write this, catching wind of a REVERB SCANDAL!
Gina and her big ol’ arms appalled Luna and Bethel by doing a Pretenders song AGAIN. Gwen Stefani probably liked to PRETEND to be a teacher or a veterinarian when she was a little girl, and that was why the song was eligible for singing. Luna and Bethel weren’t surprised to see that Gina chose to wear very cool boots with a sausage casing dress.
Sanjaya sang Bathwater, which is actually a song that was done by Gwen Stefani and her band, No Doubt! No doubt that Sanjaya has never looked more ridiculous. Sanjaya had a FAUXhawk hairdo. Luna and Bethel hope that the government was watching American Idol last night and will use that hairdo to ward off any asteroids that might be on a collision course with Earth. Luna and Bethel honestly wouldn’t chew Sanjaya up and poop him. PLEASE, AMERICA, TELL LUNA AND BETHEL THAT YOU DIDN’T VOTE FOR SANJAYA AGAIN THIS WEEK!!!!! Out of pure HOPE that Luna and Bethel’s sensitive ears will be assaulted only one more time with his farewell song, Luna and Bethel are predicting that Sanjaya will FINALLY go home!
Haley was next, singing True Colors by Cyndy Lauper. Gwen Stefani saw the movie "The Goonies," and Cyndy Lauper sang the theme song for that movie, so that is what True Colors has to do with Gwen Stefani. Luna and Bethel like Cyndy Lauper. Luna and Bethel think she is an interesting artist. Luna and Bethel wish an interesting artist would sing Cyndy Lauper’s songs on American Idol.
Phil sang a Police song just like Chris Sligh, but Luna and Bethel don’t like Phil, so that makes Phil very different from Chris Sligh. Phil is the Anti-Fro. Phil sang "Every Breath You Take." Phil obviously heard that Luna and Bethel compared him to Riff Raff from Rocky Horror, so Phil wore a very bad woven toupee this week.
Melinda sang Heaven Knows. Another Donna Summer song. Melinda wore an old lady bathing suit for her costume. Luna and Bethel hate water.
Blake sang Love Song, which is a song by The Cure, another great band that doesn’t have anything to do with Gwen Stefani. Blake cured Luna and Bethel of wanting to hear that song sung so slowly ever again.
Jordin, the baby American Idol, sang Hey Baby. Another No Doubt song that has something to do with Gwen Stefani! Go figure! Jordin wore her pajamas to sing this song. Luna and Bethel think it was past Jordin’s bedtime.
Chris R. was the last singer, and he twitched his way through the No Doubt song, Don’t Speak. Luna and Bethel wish that Chris had taken that title to heart. In the end, Chris keeled over because he’d made his own stomach hurt just as much as he’d made Luna and Bethel’s stomachs hurt, and Luna and Bethel were glad to see him appropriately punished.
Luna and Bethel hope that the Fro Patro was on the move and that everybody gave their fingers to American Idol by voting for Chris Sligh! Be sure to catch Luna and Bethel tomorrow for their Results Show Review!
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Chris Sligh, “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic,” by the Police
Little did we know that Gwen Stefani’s influences all date from the late ’70s. Chris chooses a reggae-lite tune and wrings the rest of the syncopation out of it. To me, it doesn’t really detract too much from a very nice and engaged vocal performance. The judges, however, pound him mercilessly for this transgression. We already know Simon hates Chris, but now Randy and Paula are jumping in, too. Grade: B